


Dorks and Ghosts

by Eggplantkinhg3



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Dorks, Dorks in Love, F/M, Ghosts (not actual ghosts), Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:26:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggplantkinhg3/pseuds/Eggplantkinhg3
Summary: Your name is John Egbert.And life is depressing, least this weird girl is here with you, so that’s something.
Relationships: John Egbert/Aradia Megido, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 7
Kudos: 13





	1. December and a short talk of the Crystal Skull

Your name is JOHN EGBERT, and currently it’s December.

December.

A cold dreary time, in which most people make up for it in colorful lights and make it a time of giving, while not a bad time, in fact you enjoy it quite a lot, but… it’s just depressing to you currently.

So here you are, laying in your bed, no one is currently in the house besides you…

Your dad is at work, doing whatever he does, for a living, you honestly can’t remember. You’d go on your computer and chat to your friends but… they’re not online.

And or well, speaking to you.

But, you could go on and just randomly pick a chum handle and talk to them, but it honestly isn’t the same…

So instead of being a productive human being, here you are, staring at the movie posters on your wall, questioning why you even liked these movies to begin with.

You think about getting up and going downstairs and watching some TV, but your bed has trapped you with blankets and being comfy.

You may be depressed currently, but damn are you comfy.

In fact you don’t even need to get out of bed now that you think about it, don’t you have a phone?

Wait that’s stupid, of course you do.

You lay there feeling like the fucking doofus you are and take out your phone.

It’s… honestly kind of boring for a phone, the only app you have is Plants vs Zombies.

So you just stare at it, not sure of what to do… fuck it, PvZ time.

Hell yeah.

…

…

...Ok that was fun, but also pretty fucking stupid.

...now what?

...

Wait… is there an app version of pester chum? Oh shit.

You quickly go to the App Store and search for “Pesterchum” hoping for something to come up… and then, you see it.

The golden emoticon staring at you, with its cheerful smile, it’s eyes closed as if it’s simulating a person laughing… you install it.

A smile forms on your forking face as you see it slowly install on your phone, it’s at 2% right now though…

This is gonna take a while Huh?

You decide to grab your headphones and go on YouTube to watch whatever you find, it shouldn’t be that bad.

...

Upon closer inspection, most of these videos are shit.

So you decide to check what percentage the app is at.

9%

You groan and just decide to watch something that isn’t complete horseshit, but alas, you can’t seem to find anything currently, other than makeup videos and terrible music videos.

14%

You keep on searching, hoping to find that video, but no! YouTube denies you entry to good videos, and throws child unboxing videos at you to make you suffer!

21%

You look more and more, as your hope slowly dwindles under the mountain of nursery channels and basketball games!

37%

You panic as you realize what kind of hell you just entered! Oh humanity!

52%

You stumble across the land of ASMR and… actually, this isn’t that bad, in fact it’s kind of relaxing as you hear this woman whisper to you… you’re comfortable, you feel like falling asleep currently

62%

You forget the app that’s installing as you attempt to keep your eyelids open, come on John, you can do it! You must persevere!

But the longer you listen the more difficult it becomes! Until finally… you close your eyes and fall asleep to the video.

All is quite as you fall into the land of dreams… nothing could ruin this mome-

Oh, the app is done installing… cool.

You open the app and log into your pesterchum account, Welp here you are.

None of your friends are online though… obviously.

You just stare at the screen, unsure of what to do, the golden layout glares at you, TG is offline, TT is offline, GG is offline… you sigh.

You just stare at the screen, unsure of what to d- oh… oh shit someone’s messaging you, oh god oh fuck.

— apocalypseArisen [AA] has begun pestering ectoBiologist [EB]—

AA: 

EB: oh uh, hi?

EB: nice to meet you?

AA: hello

EB: hi.

EB: i take it you used the random encounter feature?

EB: hehe.

AA: i indeed did

AA: nice to meet you

AA: ectobiologist 

EB: oh man, it’s nice to meet you uh.

EB: apocalypsearisen. hehe.

EB: what a silly name.

AA: oh and ectobiologist isn’t one?

EB: bluh, don’t call me out.

EB: it’s a cool name.

AA: alright then tell me what ectobiology is

EB: uh.

EB: biology with slime, i guess?

AA: oh my god

AA: i don’t mean to be rude mister eb but that’s silly

EB: mister eb? well alright then mister aa, i admit it, it’s silly.

AA: mhmm also it’s misses aa

EB: oh, sorry.

AA: it’s fine you just didn’t know

EB: yeah, heh.

EB: god what even is an apocalypse arisen?

AA: what’s an ectobiologist?

EB: bluh, alright i get it aa.

EB: you don’t need to tease me 24/7.

AA: yes i know but it’s quite fun

EB:bluh.

EB:you’re evil, miss aa!

AA:yes this is all apart of my evil plan eb

EB:your evil plan ay?

EB:not if i have any to say about it.

EB:and i do!

AA:thwarted by mister eb

EB:hehe, hey, you got any movies you enjoy?

AA:hm

AA:i enjoy the indiana jones movies

EB:oh, yeah, i know about them.

EB:i really wanted to see kingdom of the crystal skull.

AA:wait that one?

AA:eb i apologize but that is the worst one

EB:it is?

EB:why???

AA:wait eb

AA:what movies do you like?

EB:oh man, things like conair and little monsters!

AA:i see

AA:actually i think you’d like the crystal skull a lot

EB:haha yeah! 

EB:it sounds awesome.

AA:it sure is

EB:haha, yeah.

EB:man, it was fun talking to you aa.

AA:same to you mister eb

EB:oh call me john.

AA:alright john

AA:0u0

AA:talk to you later?

EB:oh man you bet!

— apocalypseArisen [AA] has ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] —

Wow… that actually felt good talking to someone.

You hope you can talk to her again soon honestly.

You turn your phone off and look up at the ceiling… all is quiet… it’s boring, so you get up and off your bed, and go downstairs to find something in the fridge to snack on.

So here you are, John Egbert, munching on leftover food from the kitchen… it’s a pretty sad life but it could be way worse.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Moving and a book on Archeology.

You stare out the window of the truck, off to your new home, it’s cold outside, snowy honestly, the trees are dead, kids outside playing in the snow, the clouds dark and grey, promising another downpour of frost.

And there you are, in a moving truck sitting next to your mom, the seat is honestly uncomfortable, it isn’t even leather, like it’s some shitty cheap substitute.

You’re pretty sure that it shouldn’t even exist, but you swear your mom finds a way to be a cheapskate in these situations.

Honestly at times you’re impressed.

You sigh and just get out the book you’ve stored under your seat, and open it. It probably isn’t wise to be reading a book while in a car, but you should be fine.

The book you have currently retrieved is a simple one, just a book on archeology and what not, archeology (obviously) being one of your interests in life.

You open the book, it tells you the basics in archeology and what not, how to properly preserve things, and some famous archeological findings, in all honesty basic stuff for this kind of thing.

You sigh and close the book, and look out the window once again… you twirl your hair around and try to admire the Washington landscape… what’s your name again?

Aradia Megido.

Yeah, that sounds right.

Your name is Aradia Megido, and stated once before, you are currently moving to a new place, you had to say goodbye to your old friends (granted most of them didn’t really seem distraught that much at you leaving, some did though.) and move on with your life, you didn’t really want to leave, but you can’t really do much.

Your mom got a new job, it hopefully should be steady unlike the last one, which ended in her getting fired for accused sexual assault, which your mother may or may not have done, but she (thankfully) didn’t get charged for anything, but had to find a new job.

And the best one that was hiring and she could in all honesty get, was located all the way in Washington, not Washington DC or anything, but plain old Washington, honestly what does Washington even have again?

Seattle you guess? Does Washington even have Seattle? You’re pretty sure it does.

Anyways, your mom is excited, you really aren’t, your sister (who’s driving your mom’s car, aka the vehicle you wished you were riding in, and in also fact behind you.) is honestly indifferent, if she can still be the same, nothing would change that much, minus the location and people.

You continue to stare out the window, honestly not much you can do

“Aradia, you ok?”

You turn to see your mom talking to you, you give her a hesitant but honest smile and respond “Honestly? Not really, but it’s better than being dead.”

“Oh sweetie I know, leaving your friends and home is hard, but this is for the better, honest!”

Your mom gives you a reassuring smile, you smirk in response, you didn’t really need that, but you appreciate it in all honesty.

“Oh I know it is, I’m upset that we’re leaving home, but I’m really only going to miss like three friends.”

Your mom stares at you, with a look that says ‘don’t say that sweetie’, she sighs and turns back to the road… it’s quiet for a while before your mom says “We’re approaching our destination soon.”

You nod and look forward… not much to say, it’s a snowy road in Washington, you keep on staring until you remember something, you have a phone ya dingus.

You take it out and turn it on, not much, honestly the only real interesting apps to you are YouTube and pesterchum, speaking of pesterchum, you met someone yesterday on it, some ectoBiologist named John, it’s such a normal name, but it sounds odd to you.

You check to see if he is currently online in anyway, but alas, he is currently offline, so that’s a bummer, in all honesty.

You sigh and wonder how your old friends are doing, probably role playing and having, like, hot sloppy make outs you guess, not gonna lie that’d be interesting to see, not particularly partake in, but just watch from the sidelines.

Honestly that’s what you usually do, just watch, waiting to see how things turn out, honestly hoping some things crash and burn at times.

You feel your eyelids get heavy, you really didn’t get much sleep last night, you yawn before seeping into the tempting mistress known as slumber.

…

Your dream is… interesting to say the least, in it you’re just an alien, who’s also a ghost, which is odd, but it isn’t the weirdest dream you’ve ever had honestly.

“Aradia, wake up, we’re here”

You open your eyes to the sound of your mother’s voice, you look around your surroundings, you’re still in the truck, so you get out of the truck and stretch.

You get a good look at your area, it’s… painfully average all around you, White Houses, with all the same plan from what you can see, it’s… honestly creepy, almost like you walked into a horror movie, there’s no one outside.

Honestly you quite enjoy it.

“Please tell me we’re at the right spot mom.”

“We are.”

“Nice.”

You stretch once more and take another look around, and you realize that they aren’t all the same, some MUST have different layouts inside obviously, but from the outside, they’re all completely the same, well, minus the one across from your place.

It’s simple but, it honestly just has some old kiddie toys in the back, isn’t much but, you respect it for sticking out.

Well… there isn’t much else to say really, so you just start unloading the truck, some boxes are heavy and some are light, pretty standard stuff.

Honestly, not much to say, everything goes well.

So that’s a boring way to end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly have no idea in what to put in the notes I apologize, also had no idea how to end the chapter.


	3. Sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry

Yeah I apologize but I have had no motivation to continue this, and I am deeply sorry.

It’s also a shame because I had plenty of ideas for this story.

I apologize once again if you’re disappointed.

However, I have some good news! I will make more stories later on, and (hopefully) they won’t be discontinued like this one

But first, I would like to hear some of your ideas for a story! If I like it I might probably turn it into a one shot, and don’t worry I’ll tell them who to really credit for the creation of the story! You!

(Woo)

Anyways yeah, sorry once again, hope you all have a good life.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first attempt at writing this kind of stuff, so please, criticize me all you want, I need power to improve for me conquest.


End file.
